A tribute to the White Buffalo

I went a solid 10-4 this week. The White Buffalo nailed 14 of 14, nailing first place and batting the mythical 1.000.

Now, if you know him, you’re perfectly aware that skill has nothing to do with it and he’s merely a lucky bastard – his week 17 last year is actually listed on dictionary.com under LUCK – but it’s a staggering feat nonetheless.

Now why would I think that?

Pink Madness raises Amanda’s old ante:

i am quite confused as to how men like this still exist. certainly someone should have taken a rather dangerous looking and most definitely pain-inflicting object such as a broken plastic spoon and castrated the man already. i would happily do so, since his confidence seems to stem not only from his immense stupidity but also from his inborn possession of a certain extra appendage. it would give me extreme pleasure to break a man such as him.

Bring it on, baby. You can brandish your broken kitchen utensil all you like; it won’t do you any good. It’s always amusing how a strong independent woman will talk like this right up to the second she realizes that a man is perfectly willing to treat her with the equality she demands and beat her down. Oh, I’m good and public-school propagandized, I am.

Even more amusing is how these clownish champions of women’s rights so reliably demonstrate why women cannot be trusted to defend human liberty. While one advocates the mutilation of those who disagree with them, another is claiming my views are akin to the Taliban. What a surprise.

And again, voting does not equal freedom.

This is good for a laugh

Ralph Peters actually thinks women have aided the West’s capitalist advantage:

The sudden transition of women from men’s property to men’s partners in our own country unleashed dazzling creative energies. In the historical blink of an eye, we doubled our effective human capital — and made our society immeasurably more humane. Our half-century of stunning economic growth has many roots, but none goes deeper than the expansion of opportunities for women.

But such unprecedented freedom threatens traditional societies. Behavior patterns that prevailed for millennia are suddenly in doubt. Relationships that granted males the power of life and death over female relatives have disappeared from successful cultures. Defensively, the failing cultures left behind cling harder than ever to the old ways amid the tumult of global change.

The true symbols of the War on Terror are the Islamic veil and the two-piece woman’s business suit.

The math is basic. No civilization that excludes half its population from full participation in society and the economy can compete with the United States and its key allies. Yet Middle Eastern societies, especially, have dug in their heels to resist change. Some, such as Turkey, Pakistan and Iran, have tumbled backward….

The good news is that the forces of oppression can make plenty of tactical mischief but can’t achieve strategic success. No society in which women are veiled and sequestered can achieve the dynamism and force of one in which women are senators, judges, CEOs, doctors and military pilots. Freedom will win, if not swiftly.

Of course, the small fact that America and the Western European countries were establishing colonies and achieving a position of total dominance in the world prior to the establishment of the Equalitarian Society that Peters is lauding here tends to pull the rug out from under his argument.

I’m very curious about his notion of “stunning economic growth” considering how the growth today is slower than it was in the 1800s, and he offers absolutely no explanation of how the expansion of opportunities for women have created this “stunning” growth.

As for female military pilots, I’m sure their ability to kill themselves trying and failing to land on carriers has got the Chinese Air Force pilots shaking in their flight jackets.

100 Things I Hate about Television

3. Small guns are better.

For some reason, bad guys armed with shotguns, scoped and laser-sighted assault rifles and rocket-propelled grenade launchers inevitably themselves outgunned by the good guy’s little 9mm. It doesn’t matter if the good guy is caught in the open and subject to enfilading fire from three positions, he will survive and his popgun will inflict inerrant death to body-armored troops set up in their defensive shelters.

TV producers’ addiction to “surprises” is almost as bad as NFL coaches. “I know, it’s third-and-17 on our own 20, they’ll never expect a draw play.” If a gun battle erupts on TV, watch to see who has the smaller gun with less firepower. There’s your winner.

Needless to say, the USMC and other successful successful military organizations do not subscribe to this philosophy.

Unquestionably the best take on Debbie Does Carolina

From Deadspin:

And how in the world did these two end up not cheering for the Vikings?

Actually, it might have happened. If you look at Laura the Viking Cheerleader’s pictures, you can see that the soon-to-be former Topcats are in the second and fifth photo. Fred Smoot is probably chewing out the MVC selection committee as we speak.

By the way, that rumbling sound you hear is everyone in our football league laughing at Chokechain. Yeah, that Owens pick in the fifth round was a real steal, dude. I must also correct the aspersions cast by the Gargler at THE MOST PRESTIGIOUS LEAGUE IN SPORTS. My brother is in a different fantasy league. No one in our league even picked Kordell that year, much less as the first pick in the first round.

The gold standard for draft brainlock in our league still belongs to the White Buffalo, picking Randall Cunningham first overall in 1999. Worth mocking, to be sure, but not even close to the level of total NFL ignorance.

It’s not that difficult

I warn, they ignore, I act. I’m not much given to bluffing. If the Banned wish to run off and play the martyr, that’s their right. My track record of tolerating open criticism speaks for itself. If the Banned want to come back and abide by the rules, as most of those previously banned at one time or another have done, that’s perfectly fine with me.

Perhaps this comes as a surprise to some of you, but I don’t read all of the comments. If you tend to repeat yourself or are commenting incessantly on a posted thread, you can be quite sure that I’m not paying any attention to you unless I’m directly involved in the discussion. The fact that I may have responded to one post out of many only means that Spacebunny or someone else has brought it to my attention.

As for yesterday’s victim du jour, Scintan said it best. “if she’s bleeding out of her eyes and dies just as she hits the send button, does that change the correctness of her position…?” No, it does not. This blog is neither an echo chamber nor a therapy group; if you can’t back up your assertions, your argument will be ripped to shreds regardless of your creed, color, political party and health status. If you can’t even answer a simple yes or no question, you will also be mocked.

The world is as it is. The truth is what it is. 2+2=4 for the fit young athlete and the decrepit Alzheimer’s patient alike. Furthermore, we can have personal sympathy for the evils that beset an individual and wish them well even as we eviscerate their cowardly intellectual dishonesty and are amused by their dearth of logic.

There are thousands of blogs where a visitor will be treated with kind condescension. This is not one of them. If you want respect, you will be given the same opportunity to earn it as everyone else. A few simple guidelines:

1. If asked a question, answer it.
2. If you are asking a question of someone else, allow the person to answer it before asking another one.
3. One you have made your point, stop. Repetition only works to convince those who aren’t paying attention.
4. Many regulars here scored exceptionally well on the Reading portion of the SAT. Trying to play games with intentional misreadings of others’ comments doesn’t work here, it only makes you look like a dishonest ass.
5. Silence does not equal agreement or being awed by your argument. If people aren’t responding to your posts, there’s a reasonable chance they just think you’re a moron.
6. Confusing metaphors with reality is just… just don’t.
7. Mild pedantism is fine. But don’t overdo it, it’s tiresome.