Discuss amongst yourselves

Plus ├ža change

This happened to catch my eye whilst I was reading a “biographical companion” to the works of a certain mystery novelist of some repute:

“Girls, you must remember, are far more ready to be raped than they used to be. Their mothers insist, very often, that they should call it rape.”
– Agatha Christie, Nemesis

Le belle donne

From the Corriere’s Italian Life:

a study by Procter & Gamble has revealed that American women devote just four hours a week to household chores while Italians spend twenty-one on housework.

And yet some of them try to make their husbands feel guilty about not doing their four hours worth? Shoot, it takes at least an hour just to mow the lawn, and that Playstation isn’t going to play itself either, now, is it?

But they were all bad

The FBI secretly sought information last year on 3,501 U.S. citizens and legal residents from their banks and credit card, telephone and Internet companies without a court’s approval, the Justice Department said Friday.

It was the first time the Bush administration has publicly disclosed how often it uses the administrative subpoena known as a national security letter, which allows the executive branch of government to obtain records about people in terrorism and espionage investigations without court approval.

Personally, I think the Bush administration should have hired Arnold as their new press secretary.

What college hath wrought

HR writes indignantly:

How dare u call your self a Christian? I am ashamed to know you are affiliated with a belief system I hold very close to my heart. You are a bigot, a chauvinistic bastard, and a right-wing ignorant idiot. Thank God I can say I know better than to believe the filth you spew, and the incredible lies and horrible inaccuracies you speak of. Lord help you. I promise to pray for you.

Sincerely, a-very-grateful-to-not-know-you-personally blonde-with-a-bachelors

The frightening thing is that she’s probably an English major. What was the point of encouraging women to attend college if the long-term intention was to dumb it down to a point that would enable sufficient numbers of them to graduate?

She emails again:

You sit on your high horse and spew obsurdities like you actually know what you are talking about. Back up your falsities?! Right like you can prove we are better off with aborted Black babies?! so sad how much anger there is in your horrific claims of knowledge. Are you desperately attempting to reclaim what the world has so harshly taken from you? Do you really have that much repressed contempt for something that obviously you experienced in your past? wow I feel so sorry for you. To live your pathetic angry excuse for a life must be exhausting. Criticizing and attacking those you obviously dont have God’s compassion to empathize with, such sarcasm, such obvious sadness in your life….

I hope you sleep peacefully knowing those you have such hatered for are the ones who will stand with you in the end. Where is your love for fellow man? your compassion for those you apparently feel are less than you? You sound like a raving Nazi lunatic wannabe.

Sadly, HR misses the trifecta. We have Bitter, we have Fake Pity, but she totally fails to provide an accusation of sexual dissatisfaction. And how is it an expression of love for one’s fellow man to watch silently as he stumbles drunkenly towards an abyss?

Granted, it might be more polite to clear one’s throat and say, “do excuse me, Miss, but you appear to be rapidly destroying your own life and demolishing Western civilization to boot,” but the fact is that no one ever listens to such soft sweetly reasoned offerings. The harsh sarcasm may be a bit much, but it is a reasonable consequence of the realization that most people are completely incapable of learning not to touch the stove until they burn themselves, usually two or three times.

Announcing the VPFL

After listening to the preening and boasting of various individuals who shall remain nameless, I have decided that it is time to give some of them an opportunity to demonstrate their perspicacity against the reigning 2005 MFL Champion, the White Buffalo, and a perennial playoff powerhouse who has yet to claim a league title, Mr. Vox Day.

The VPFL will be a keeper league, but the only permanent owners will be the WB and me. In the unlikely event that the season champion is not one of us, the winner will also return to defend his title. Team owners will be selected with help from the WB and the OC, as I will run a contest every other week and the winner will be awarded the right to run a team for the 2006 season or to choose a coach from among the regulars here.

The league will be a Yahoo free league with from 8 to 12 teams, depending on the level of interest. Please comment if you’re interested, but note that previous fantasy football experience is a must. I have not yet decided on the number of keepers, but I am open to suggestion although I’m leaning towards somewhere between 2 and 5 players. As league commissioner, I’d be tempted to award myself the first pick in the draft, but as I wish to give myself a slight advantage this year, I have decided to award it to the White Buffalo, whose first pick in the 1999 MFL draft remains legendary. (Between who he’s sure to pick and the Madden’s Curse, there’s no way Sean Alexander makes it until Week Five this season.)

Scoring is conventional, but halved, with lower yardage points than are common in many leagues. Team names are to be of the city / nickname style and will remain the same from season to season barring a league-approved team move. VD will be managing the Mounds View Marauders, the WB has not yet announced the name of his team although it is rumored that the Big Walleye will be involved in front office operations.

As the idea for this league was inspired by a certain Tennessee Titans fan, the Pan Gargler is invited to manage a VPFL team in the inaugural 2006 season, assuming that he is not afraid to have his dearth of NFL expertise stripped bare for all to see this autumn.

I want to kiss you

Since today is all about the NFL, it’s a good time to remember one of the great moments in professional football history courtesy of football legend Broadway Joe Namath.

And there will be an announcement of no small interest to fantasy football players later today….