How smart can you be…

If you don’t understand basic probability? A Feministe dilemma:

There’s a sweet little phrase employed by lads in my town when they meet girls in bars and want to impress upon them how superior their genes are and how lucky the girl in question would be to get some of them in her vagina. It’s called “Dropping the H-Bomb.” As in, “So what do you do?” “I’m at Haaaaarvard Laaaaaw.”

The H-bomb has been said to be inversely effective for women trying to pick up men in bars. Actually, there is a worse one in this city. There’s no pithy name for it, that I know of, but let’s just say it involves the letters M, I, and T….

I have found that dropping these magical letters is an excellent first round of screening in the mate market. Anyone who says, “Wow, so you must be smart or something” is a tool. Anyone who shies away is clearly either insecure or less smart than me. Neither of which are qualities I look for in a date.

Now, imagine that this were a wealthy man writing. And suppose he drove a brand new Porsche and declared that he was uninterested in dating anyone who was insecure or drove a lesser car. Both men and women would, quite rightly, consider him to be an idiot, because there are things that make an individual interesting and attractive besides their form of automotive transportation, furthermore, there just aren’t very many people who drive Porsches in the first place.

Keep in mind that Zuffenhausen produces 31,250 cars per year, while M.I.T. accepts 1,045 freshmen in the same time frame. It is mathematically more reasonable to insist on dating only new Porsche owners than Ivy League graduates, whether you own a Porsche or attend an Ivy League school or not.

The comment is particularly amusing in that the feminista who wrote it doesn’t understand how completely conventional her attitude happens to be. The truth is that as long as intelligent women want to marry up, they will be inordinately likely to find themselves with no shortage of time to spend on their careers… or their cats.

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True Feministe Love

It seems I am her dream guy:

I like men who dress well. I like men who enjoy good food and good wine, and who can have interesting, engaging conversations where they aren’t afraid to take personal risks and emote a little bit…. I like men who aren’t embarassed to go out to a swanky lounge and order a ridiculous pink drink.

Perhaps I order the ridiculous blue drink more often than the ridiculous pink one, (which, if made properly, is really more of a dark purplish red), but otherwise, it sounds as if I could be her perfect match.

Er, wait a minute… “I like men who will get up at 5 am to ride a bus to DC with me to attend the March for Women’s Lives — and who bring their own sign.”

Unfortunately, I am so vehemently opposed to the diabolical concept of “morning” that I wouldn’t willingly agree to be woken up at 5 AM by the entire Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders squad, in uniform no less, to watch the Vikings win the Super Bowl. I’m sorry, Jill, but it seems that the cruel fates have doomed what might otherwise have been a beautiful relationship.

UPDATE: On further review, I would. But not if it was only the aforementioned cheerleaders and the NFC Championship Game.

UPDATE: Just in case girls aren’t clear on this, men have little inclination to date, much less marry, any woman who has ever participated in a march, a candlelight vigil or a sit-in of any kind. Signs are nominally acceptable, but only if they are intended for use at a sporting event and do not involve a stupid acronym involving the broadcasting enterprise. A yard sign for a political candidate is questionable, but can be forgiven so long as it is removed promptly following the election.

What they need is democracy

The problem, as will be apparent to all right-thinking individuals, was obviously the lack of pygmy suffrage:

Marauding rebels are massacring and eating pygmies in the dense forests of north-east Congo, according to UN officials who are investigating allegations of cannibalism in Ituri province, where fighting between several rebel groups has displaced about 150,000 people in the past month. [January 2003 – VD]

Many of the displaced tell of rebel fighters capturing and butchering pygmies, Manoddje Mounoubai, spokesman for the UN ceasefire monitoring mission in Congo, said yesterday. The UN had sent six officials to investigate the accusation as well as other human rights abuses, he said.

Other UN officials in the capital, Kinshasa, and the eastern city of Goma said that widespread cannibalism had already been established. ‘Ituri is completely out of control and cannibalism is just the latest atrocity taking place,’ said one, who asked not to be named until the investigators deliver their report. ‘Perhaps this will finally alert the world to what’s going on.’

On a recent assignment in eastern Congo the Guardian correspondent saw many Mayi-Mayi fighters wearing parts of the bodies of their Rwandan enemies, in the belief that this would make them invincible. ‘We are hearing reports of untold horrors in Ituri,’ said Wyger Wentholt, of Médecins sans Frontières.

While the Congolese probably wouldn’t vote Hamas into power, this tends to add an ominous undertone to the analogy of democracy being two wolves and a sheep deciding on what’s for dinner.

Of course, considering the proclivity for barbecuing Africans shown by UN troops themselves in the past, one has to wonder if looking to the United Nations for help is the wisest course of action.

Women against women’s suffrage

They’ve got a signed petition and everything! I’m just curious, what is supposed to be the benefit of allowing people like this, (not to mention those featured on the Tonight Show’s Jaywalking segment), to vote?