A jaw-droppingly awful aside

Derb ruins one’s day:

I had a conversation once with “Theodore” (real name Tony) about whether there was any particular literary approach common to doctor-writers like Somerset Maugham (not much read now, but a great storyteller), Smollett (ditto), and Chekhov. We concluded that there was—a certain detachment and distance, obviously essential requirements for a job which consists in part of watching people die.

Forget it. Henceforth, I’m cheering on the feminists, the globalists and the jihadis. Western civilization doesn’t deserve to survive. A society that can’t be bothered to read Maugham is a society that is dead to me.

And how much more does it deserve to be damned considering that it’s not even as if our scivilization has cast aside Maugham in favor of halfway-interesting things, (such as the ur-Gesamtkunstwerk of Doom III, for example,) but for fawning over wretched creatures such as the Three Airheads of the Apocalypse.

Not much read now indeed.

A game plan for victory

The Regression to the Mean wants a new plan:

THE most common cliché about the war in Iraq is now this: We didn’t have a plan, and now everything is in chaos; we didn’t have a plan, and now we can’t win.

This is entirely wrong. We did have a plan – the problem is that the plan didn’t work. And of course we can win – we just have to choose to do so.

The problem with our plan is that it wasn’t actually a military plan.

Please. I’ve been mocking the plan for literally years now. We had a plan, it was the neocons’ neo-Wilsonian World Democratic Revolution, which has managed to put Hamas into power and give a serious boost to Hezbollah and the Islamic Jihad, all three of which are popular movements which the most brain-dead strategist would expect to do well in any quasi-democratic environment.

The point that Podhoretz, the neocons and many Three Monkey Republicans and well-intentioned warbloggers all can’t seem to get through their heads is that simply repeating mindless mantras such as “we are at war” and “withdrawal is not an option” and “we just have to choose to do so” is not tantamount to convincing anyone of anything. If you find this a difficult concept, I recommend you try inserting yourself into the next woman you encounter on the street and telling her that “withdrawal is not an option”.

No doubt she’ll find that “argument” about as persuasive as the Shiite militias and the American public do.

Podhoretz is technically correct. We can win the occupation by utilizing either the British or Roman military method. Of course, this means we’d either have to kill and enslave many millions of Arabs, or alternatively, find hundreds of thousands of colonists to move into new villas built at US expense along the Tigris and Euphrates rivers.

Actually, there is a method of killing two birds with one stone and it would likely work better than anything else on the cards. Round up the 12-15 million illegal aliens currently invading America and settle them all in Iraq. Set up a free trade zone between this new protectorate and the USA. The immigrant-colonists get the benefit of the American rule they are seeking plus jobs in the oil industry as well as jobs providing food, clothing and sex to those working in the oil industry, Americans get rid of the crime and cultural problems they bring as well as the pressure on wage rates, the immigrant-colonists become the focus of Arab ire ala the Israelis thus keeping the hot zone well away from New York and Washington DC, and eventually the culture of the Middle East is gradually transformed rather than that of America.

Of course, this is totally impossible as it would require both Caesarian genius and a Roman degree of ruthlessness in order to implement it, but it does have the advantage of being both theoretically feasible as well as fully respectful of American rights. Naturally, anyone who seriously calls for this would be regarded as a complete lunatic.

Much better to stick with meaningless platitudes better suited for college football and fake wrestling while American rights and culture fade into the ashes of history.

We are at war! We can win if we choose! Win one for the Gipper!

It won’t happen

Not as long as there are women sitting on the pub board, anyhow. Dr. Helen repeats Hog on Ice’s question:

Self-help experts tell us men need to change. Men need to be sensitive and submissive and put products in their hair and use moisturizer, because if we don’t, it makes women feel bad. Okay, it makes us feel bad when women yammer all day. So why aren’t the experts telling women to shut up?

Here’s a thought. Maybe it’s because ninety percent of self-help customers are women. They pay idiots like Oprah and Dr. Phil to tell them they’re right about everything, and they get what they want. If I wrote a book called Keep Your Man by Shutting up Once in a While and Occasionally Putting Out When You Don’t Want Something, I’d be preaching a vital and timely message. But nobody would buy it.

Actually the success of Maddox and Tucker Max suggests that such a book would sell very well indeed. The numbers for “Screwing Themselves: Why No One Wants to Marry Thirty-something Women” were projected to be quite good, but the project was killed at the sole behest of the single, forty-something woman on the pub board, who vehemently objected to Thomas Nelson being associated with such an obviously evil book.

Because so many women have fascist instincts, their initial reaction to criticism is to shut it down and attack any aspect that can even remotely be interpreted reflecting on them personally. Seriously, how many women do you know can bear even the smallest amount of criticism about how they vaccuum the carpet or change the oil? Two percent? So, unless an expert is either masochistic or supremely indifferent to the opinions of others, he’s not going to challenge the female thought police.

On the other hand, men always resent being controlled so even as the thought police wax in public influence, male opinion hardens in private. It is not a coincidence that at the same time that one can no longer say chairman or refer to “girls” at work, the best-selling music and games are filled with violent references to bitches and hos. How can this be? Because there are very few women in positions of influence in the music and games publishing industries compared to the number in the book publishing industry.

Personally, I find it very amusing that in these supposedly equalitarian times, the most famous and influential women in the world are being reduced to exposing their naked genitals in public. Feminism really is a great force for female dignity, isn’t it….

But I still haven’t answered the question. Would I buy that book? No, but then, I’m not given to reading books devoted to informing me of the wetness of water or the liberal inclinations of college professors either.

Random notes

1. Opening up the back of my car in London and seeing the back of someone’s head in the driver’s seat. “Excuse me, what are you doing in my car?” It seems he was after the DVD player, but the situation was resolved amicably enough.

2. “It’s just a publicity stunt….” Those who say this haven’t been paying attention to the publishing industry of late. If you want to get published, your four best options are a) release a sex tape, b) get very, very large breast implants, or c) become a very successful professional athlete, d) get that rapping career started.

Selling books these days has virtually nothing to do with the writing.

3. A word of warning for those who ordered or were thinking of ordering a certain little book. The quality on the first run is somewhat disappointing, as the printer made two mistakes. The book is not perfect-bound but bound like a magazine, and the illustrations follow the text, they aren’t on facing pages. Just FYI. On the other hand, the illustrations are really cute. These things will be corrected on the second run.

4. The NFL Game Pass is a must if you’re on the road. However, do mind your start time. The 24 hours viewing period expired just after Romo hit Whitten with thirty seconds left in the Dallas-New York game, shutting off the video stream. I think people are harsher on Manning than he deserves, but man, Romo is impressive. I found myself thinking of Elway with those deep rollout passes downfield, especially that last one in the clutch.

5. 5110 3Dmark06. Yeah, baby. Oh yeah. That’s not a laptop, that’s a lapdance.

VPFL Week 13

76 Newport Sea Dogs
62 East Mesa WhiteTrash

76 West Texas Vikings
51 Burns Montgomerys

71 Mounds View Meerkats
64 Pale Horse Cowboys

55 Mile High Club
46 Santa Barbarians

54 Greenfield Grizzlies
34 COS McRays

Supernaut’s bitter post-game comments made me laugh: “Take a look at your bench. And see Reggie Bush’s 4 TD day wasted away…and then take comfort that were it not for the beating the Chicago Defense gave to the Vikings, you would have lost to EQ and I.”

It’s hardly a waste when you win. Of course I wouldn’t be winning without the Chicago D, although I think Peyton Manning, Jeff Wilkins and Fast Willie have also performed very well for me this season. But then, erhaps that’s why I drafted Chicago two rounds before anyone else bothered to pick up a defense.

“So where you cheering or jeering when the Bears INT Brad Johnson 4 times, or sacked Bollinger or forced TJ to fumble? Because other than Chicago, the rest of your roster did JACK.”

I don’t know if I would say “JACK” considering the rest of my roster still tied the Barbarians, outscored the McRays, and that’s without Reggie’s 31 points. As for your question, I was neither cheering nor jeering, only wincing. I take no pleasure in any Vikings loss, although the 25 points was a definite silver lining.

And yes, WB, you are welcome for your current first place position….