Discuss amongst yourselves

Is it just me or did the Vikings special teams commit two of the dumbest special teams plays in NFL history? When a punt has bounced inside the five and isn’t headed into the end zone, it takes a special sort of punt coverage to rush in at full speed and knock it in for a touchback.

And when there’s only thirty seconds left, you need to score and they’re punting, it’s probably not a good idea to field the ball and start the clock ticking when you’re on the ONE YARD LINE. Take the freaking touchback!

Thus spake the roadkill

Jerry Ford wasn’t sure Hillary Clinton could be elected President, but he was absolutely certain which Republican had the strongest shot at stopping her: Rudy Giuliani.

The fact that the guy who never won a presidential election and managed to get steamrolled by Jimmy Carter is absolutely certain that Guiliani is the Republican’s best shot should suffice to disprove that idiotic idea.

The Lithper couldn’t even beat her in a Senate race; he has no shot at the White House.

Halloween scares

An impressive rant on what is apparently the new tradition of slutting up pre-teen girls in order to celebrate a negative emotion:

To the parent that thinks it’s “cute” to buy those slutty costumes for your girl,

You have failed as a parent. What are you thinking? It is NOT cute to dress your little girl in fishnet stockings, platform boots, exposed midriffs, vinyl whatever or anything resembling a Bratz doll. What are you raising your daughter to be anyways? Pregnant at 14. It’s beyond comprehension why you (a parent) would purchase this stuff. Maybe some of you do it because you want to live vicariously through your daughter? I find that utterly sick.

We don’t celebrate Halloween either; even though it was one of my favorite holidays as a collegian it’s not something that any of our neighbors really pay any attention to. I don’t have a huge problem with it although if I were to stop and take the time to think about it I’d have to say that I’m not enamoured of a holiday intended to celebrate fear.

Now, in the words of our feminist friends, I am objectively pro-slut. I am inclined to be favorably disposed towards the cheerful, thoughtless creatures, just as I am disinclined to be favorably disposed towards finger-shaking would-be school-marms who attempt to lecture everyone they encounter. Regardless, I think it is incredibly unwise to indoctrinate young girls into what is essentially a lotus-eater’s mindset, just as it is harmful to indoctrinate them into equalitarianism, feminism and other philosophies which are much more appropriate to adults than children.

However, Halloween was the source of one of my parent’s favorite stories about one of my brothers. It was November first and my mother received a phone call from several neighbors. It seemed that my brother had visited their houses, wearing the unzipped, inside-out jaguar costume that he’d worn while trick-or-treating the night before. He had obviously concluded that the idea of dressing up and getting free candy was a real keeper.