VPFL Week 4

89 Valders Valkyries (4-0-0)
87 Winston Reverends (0-4-0)

70 Alamo City Spartans (4-0-0)
53 Burns Redbeards (2-2-0)

68 Greenfield Grizzlies (2-1-1)
51 Black Mouth Curs (0-4-0

64 Silver Spooners (1-1-2)
48 Judean Peoples Front (2-2-0)

54 Mounds View Meerkats (2-2-0)
38 Masonville Marauders (1-2-1)

It’s getting to that part of the season when one has to actually manage the bye weeks and injuries. Needless to say, Winston is cursing its luck right now, putting up 87 points in a loss to the Valkyries.

Nicolas solves the crisis

He emails to explain that Al Gore has it wrong and that it’s not a green revolution that will solve the liquidity problem:

Actually, the solution to the financial crisis is pixie traps. All the money is getting taken away by these noxious little pixies that creep out in the banks at night and steal all the gold in the vaults!

So what we really need to do is invest in enhanced pixie traps!

We estimate with an investment of only 56 no, *57* mil *BILLION* dollars, we can quickly resolve this damnable pixie problem to our complete and utter satisfaction, and make it an ABSOLUTE CERTAINTY THAT PIXIES WILL NO LONGER CAUSE PROBLEMS WITH THE U.S. FINANCIAL SYSTEM!!!

Yes, indeed — this IS the key to financial solvency in the USA!! More and BETTER PIXIE TRAPS!

I don’t know about you, but I’m convinced. In fact, I’m frightened. If we don’t do something about these awful pixies THIS VERY WEEK, Heimdall very well may blow his horn!

Recognizing excellence in culitura

I normally don’t care a bit about food-writing, but this raconteur could make a review of McDonald’s worth reading:

There is a well-founded belief that the “best restaurant in the world” is the one that all sensible, tasteful, relaxed and modest people would avoid like the Costa Brava.

It would undoubtedly be poncy. Poncy little bits of ponced-up ponce, served on poncy plates in a poncified room, by oleaginous ponces to unmitigated superponces. The whole thing would unquestionably be a poncimonious cluster-ponce…. I must admit, I was reluctant to make the trip to Barcelona for an El Ponci dinner, but the Blonde was very keen, and it turned out to be a salutary lesson in nose-amputating cynicism before experience.

He’s my new hero now that my faith in Congress has been shattered.