The Bane Memorial story contest

Courtesy of the OC and his Friday Challenge series:

The First Annual Bane Memorial Halloween StoryFrightening Fiction Contest

That’s right. Bane is gone — for real this time, sadly, but that’s another story — but love him, hate him, or fear him, you must admit, the guy knew how to tell a creepy tale. Ergo, in honor of the passing of our late mutual friend/foe/sparring partner/bête noire, that’s this week’s challenge: write a genuinely scary story.

I shall, of course, be penning a tale in the old Weeper’s honor.

It’s a fake

It turns out that the girl who was “attacked” for her McCain bumper sticker made it up. I have to admit, I bought into it until I saw the first picture after I posted yesterday; there’s no way a knife would have left such shallow scratches.

Police sources tell KDKA that a campaign worker has now confessed to making up a story that a mugger attacked her and cut the letter “B” in her face after seeing her McCain bumper sticker.

What a bizarre thing to do. Usually women who make these things up are college students or college professors. I’m glad the nation can breathe a big sigh of relief in the certainty that Obama’s supporters won’t be inclined to act up if he should lose next month.

In your base, shorting your stokks

I’ve mostly stayed out of this bear since I knew the up days would be vicious – although I had no idea they’d be 11 percent vicious like earlier this month! But it’s fun to keep your toes in for practice, if nothing else, and those 09 NDX 1200 puts are looking pretty happy right now.

Wall Street headed for another precipitous drop Friday as fears of a punishing global recession stirred panic among investors and sent world financial markets into a tailspin. The Dow Jones industrial average futures fell 550 points, triggering a halt in selling of stock future contracts.

Did you ever stop to wonder why, if it’s supposed to be a free market, they only freeze the markets when they go down? Anyhow, there should be a serious bear rally starting next week, so if you’re still in, next month would probably be the time to get out once there’s a 50 percent retracement of whatever turns out to mark the short-term bottom.

And if you ever wondered why this happened, the explanation is pretty simple: “Nearly a century ago, two audacious mechanisms were put into place to drain wealth and power from the American people and to funnel that wealth and power to an elite. Today’s crisis has arisen because essentially all of our wealth and power has by now been taken from us, and the illusion of normalcy can no longer be maintained.”

Why yes, that IS a joystick in my pocket

Science proves what Big Chilly has always said. Chicks dig guys who play computer games:

Gamers are twice as likely to go out on dates as nongamers in a given month

Gamers were also found to be wealthier, more athletic, and smarter than the norm. Also, as Spacebunny and the Chilliette have both pointed out in the past, they tend to make pretty good husbands since they’re far less likely to be interested in leaving the house and chasing inappropriate skirts when there are so many orcs, zombies, space aliens and Nazis out there waiting to be killed.

I have my various good points and bad points, but let’s face it. At the end of the day, it’s my Field Marshal’s Pursuit that gets Spacebunny hot. And can you blame her? Look at that dwarf! You can tell he means business. And where the whole Horde quails, what woman wouldn’t find herself getting a little weak in the knees?